入水願い (Jusui Negai)

Kanji

自分の世界を飛び出す勇気を持てた暁に
今迄吐いた下らぬ嘘を美化して下さる？
でも多分無理　疲労が超えてる

他人の期待を受け止める意志を持てた暁に
貫いて下らぬ倫理を認めて下さる
また同じこと　　繰り返している

天現寺発って今日は房総半島へ　
助手席に埋まったあなたの生命
如何にでもしてなんて云うなら何でもしてあげたいけど
あたしなんかで良いの

あたしを殺して其れからちゃんと独りで死ねれのか
応えもしない子供の仮面を付けた鮮やかな瞳
もう一つの方　　生きる方は如何

海浜公園今日も月光に薄闇
助手席に照ったあなたの信号
コートの下を這っている両手は何にも掴めないでしょ
人違いじゃないかしら

大嫌いです
全部が厭です
賞讃したがっているあなたの嘘吐き　
今夜以降こんな仕樣も無い女が生き存らえるなんてあられもないわ！*
。。。どうぞ殺って+

Romaji

jibun no sekai o tobidasu yuuki o moteta akatsuki ni
imamade　tsuita　kudaranu uso o bikashite kudasaru?
demo tabun muri hirou ga koeteru

tanin no kitai o uke yameru ishi o moteta akatsuki ni
tsurameite kudaranu rinri o mitomete kudasaru?
mata onaji koto kuri kaeshiteiru

tengenji　tatte kyou wa bousou hantou e
jyoshuseki ni umatta anata no seimei
dou ni demo shite nante iunara nandemo shite agetaikedo
atashi nanka de iino

atashi o koroshite sorekara chanto hitori de shineruno ka
kotae mo shinai kodomo no kamen o tsukete azayaka na me
mou hitotsu no hou ikiru hou wa dou

kaihin kouen kyou mo gekkou ni usu yami
jyoshuseki ni tetta anata no shingou
KOUTO no shita o hatteiru ryoute wa nannimo tsumenaidesho
hito chigai ja nai kashira

daikirai desu
zenbu ga iya desu
shousan shita ga tteiru anata no usotsuki
konya ikou konna shyou mo nai onna ga iki nagaraeru* nante araremo nai wa!
... douzo yatte

Translation

My own world suddenly appears, lend me courage at dawn
Until now, have you just been spitting out worthless lies prettily?
But that's probably impossible, I've surpassed fatigue

I've stopped accepting the expectations of outsiders, lend me willpower at dawn
Do you approve of going through worthless morals?
It's the same thing, echoing

Today I leave from Tengenji to go to Bouso Hantou **
The passenger seat overfills with your existence
However if you say such a thing, by all means, I'll do it for you
Somehow, I'm fine

I'm going to kill myself so can I die alone properly
I can't answer, I put on a child's mask with clear eyes
Once more, how is living better

Today the seaside park is dark except for moonlight
Your signal shines on the passenger seat
Both hands creep under my coat, working out nothing
Are people any different, I wonder

I hate it
All of it
The praise you gave me was a lie
After tonight a woman living this way would be so unladylike!
... what should I do?

NOTES

NOTES:

-The official title in the lyrics booklet is 'The Suicide'. Translated more literally, it can be called 'A wish for death by drowning'.
-Some of the lines are not sung exactly as written. For the most part, I've stuck to translating the written ones.
*Okay. It's written as 'son raeru' but sung as 'nagaraeru'. son = to exist. nagaraeru = to live a long life.
** Whee, geography fun. Tengenji is a well known intersection and Bousou Hantou is a peninsula that forms the Eastern edge of Tokyo Bay.
+Uses the kanji for 'korosu' but is sung as the verb 'yaru', which both mean 'to kill'. Yaru also has the meaning of 'to do', resulting in a line that can mean either 'should I kill myself' or 'what should I do'.
-So many possible interpretations as to the meaning!