Hello, people. This, my friends, is Lyme's #atheism quotelog. Random 
funny shit people say while I'm in the room that I thought was worth remembering.
 These all come from my period on DALnet's #atheism.

 
Start: 6/4/00

End: 1/5/01 - my last day on DALnet

<JJA> Lot's daughters fucking their father, God showing Moses his 
back parts, and Jesus riding someone's ass.
<Hominid> JJA:  yes, truly, the part where God moons Moses is one 
of the most memorable parts of the Bible.  I think it should be in 
every children's illustrated book of Bible stories, don't you?

 <GarpTalk> embryo: It is absurd for an atheist to assert that there 
is no god.

*** _Cephus_ changes topic to 'God made me an atheist, and damnit, I 
can't argue with His divine will'

<Decimal> People say that humanity is heading for the dumpster. I ask, 
have we ever left?

<Jeffdude> if God gave us free will-didn't he give up some portion of 
his power therefore making him less than omnipotent-perhaps to just 
kinda potent?
<Jeffdude> and if god is just kinda potent, perhaps we can negotiate 
a better deal
<Black_Bishop> Jeff: I hear that god has some impotency problems, yes.
<Jeffdude> maybe we can play both ends against he middle (god v. satan) 
and get a boon-personally, I'll take two hour orgasems

<Yaleah> Invade Minnesota.  We're friendly.

<Arken> Nevada: WE GOT GAMBLIN' AND WHORIN'! COME ON DOWN!

<ShinyEyedMermaid> how do u wank with a finger..unless you are a chick..
heh
<darth_amish> shem- lets just say nature was very unkind to me, endowment 
wise

* Decimal considers taking estrogen. It would be nice to have a pair of 
breasts that don't say "no". =p

<Nightengale> Heh.  My best friend and I were watching "Starship Troopers" 
with a bunch of the guys, and he goes "It's weird how they make it clear 
that it's okay to see tits in this movie, but it's not okay to see dong."
  There's this BIG silence, and he's all "Well, I don't mean that in a GAY
 way, I'm just sayin."  Then more silence.  Then Adam:  "Faggot!" and my 
best friend beat the snot out of him.  THAT was a good day.

<Nightengale> Heh.  Hey Decimal, hear that bro?  He called you a proponent 
of incest.  What a hippie.  Wanna go out in the barn and have a three way 
with pa's sheep again?

<PoisonPen> I think bdalby just needs eight solid inches of wet, throbbing, 
glistening, pulsing manmeat rammed up his tight little christian assflower 
to loosen him up.
<bdalby> Posionpen, I chop that sucker off faster than you can say "jack 
daniels." And then you'd be running around with a little bloody stump, 
trying to hump electrial outlets.
<Decimal> bdalby: Would you do the chopping with your well honed sphincter 
muscles?


<yorserv> PoisonPen - like, have you *ever* been invovled in a healthy 
relationship?
<PoisonPen> yorserv: Sure I have.  My first sexual experience was with a 
girl who wouldn't put out unless I tied her up, wore a gorilla mask, and 
pretended to rape her.  I think you're just jealous.
<Wraith--> Hey, Poison, I think I nailed that same girl.

<Pazooza> Wearing your pants down around your knees must be called the 
"ready to take a shit" style.

<the_vixen> hmm, just out of curiosity, how did the ops of this channel 
come to be ops?
<the_vixen> let me gues, they are ops by an act of God?

<Rorschach_> ShinyEyedMermaid: It's OK to be arrogant when you know the 
Truth.  Don't you listen to all those theists who come in here? :)

<baD_FucK> Ovid, dont worry, im cutting waaay back on my necrophiliac 
urges (;

<PoisonPen> I only ever use IBM keyboards.  They are huge, heavy, and 
sturdy enough to kill an antelope.  And they rarely break down, unless 
you use them to kill an antelope.

<MicroPenis> the reason jesus coul walk on water was because he was 
using his penis as a stilt

<Greg_J> If I had a third arm I could drive a stick shift and 
masturbate at the same time
<AndyChrist> Greg:  Hell, I'd never stop masturbating!

<Sloth> I scream my own name when I beat off

<Moroon> Beauregard_: i know who I am. i'm the guy who lives in a box behind
 the "Pick-n-Save", and shouts gibberish at people on the street by day, 
by night, I break into office buildings and shout gibberish at people on irc

<Az_> We figured that if they get immortality from eating Jesus we can
 get a similar if reduced effect by eating them

<TrashMouth> not such a dumb law from china : To go to college you must be 
intelligent. 
<Decimal> How do they measure that?
<infinite_monkey> Cubic litres.
<TrashMouth> Decimal , you just failed

<Wraith--> Thank you for telling me, a scientist, that my understanding of 
the scientific method is lacking. Now, please, kindly go fuck yourself.

<Objekt> WoohoO!  Masturbation...Mastur....
<Objekt> uh...
<Objekt> :P
<Objekt> :(
<Lemon_Aid> Objekt: LOL... looks like your excitement ran away from you 
there 

<XcalibuR> "You've got porn!"

* Lyme-BloodTalon circumcizes XcalibuR... twice.
<Lemon_Aid> Lyme-BloodTalon: didn't know it could be done twice... and I 
thought I had nothing left to fear... <sigh>
* XcalibuR circumcizes Lyme-BloodTalon back another 12 times....(he found a way)
<Lyme-BloodTalon> You can't circumsize me, I'm a girl!
<XcalibuR> Lyme-BloodTalon: i found a way
<Nightengale> Whoa, whole lotta circumcizing going on!
* TrashMouth circumcizes Nightengale

<Nightengale> I had a forced-baptist ex boyfriend who named his schlong 
"god" and used to sit in church and giggle when the preacher talked about 
feeling god, seeing god, god being inside all of us...

<doppelganger> we have killer bees, fire ants, and now southern baptists...i
 cant wait to see what else comes

<HeatDeath> You should take care of your nipples. They may not seem important 
now, but when you die, that's where the angels grab you.

<KarlMarx> cover me in honey and throw me to the lesbians


<Night-ReadingAboutTriumph> Yay.  I got through an angry letter without using
 the words "motherfucker", "asshole", "fuck you", "son of a bitch", or "then
 you can go fuck yourself till you bleed."  Hooray for me!

<Night-ReadingAboutTriumph> Okay, now it's bedtime.  Oh, but before I go...
Hey Atlantic?  Fuck you, you self-righteous uppity little cunt, covered in 
fat, hot, globs of gooey monkey semen.  I hope somebody puts a stick up your 
cunt and spins you till you smoke.

<Garon> Lemon_Aid: Dude, NO ONE in Model UN understood the joke when we 
formed the master debator caucus.

<alena-> carvin, did you have long brown hair in 1995?
<Carvin> alena-: Hmm... in 96 I did.
<alena-> :)
<Carvin> why?
<alena-> I know you
<Carvin> do you now....
<alena-> is it kind of wavy/curly
<alena-> ?
<Carvin> Sort of, I had it in a tail most of the time.
<Carvin> Where is it you know me from?
<alena-> Yeah, we had cybersex in 96.  I don't know why I just remembered 
it.
<Lyme> roflmao
<alena-> Don't deny it.
<Anata> hahahah.  alena "knows" Carvin :P
<Anata> LOL!!!

<Hominid> Lyme:  it's a Swjeedish thjing.

<StarTurtle> Mikejfa>  ok.  Your credibility has not only been shot to 
hell by that last statement...you just shit on it, pissed on it, then 
burried it with a tombstone with the epitaph "Here lies my credibility.  
It's a piece of shit.

*** Mikejfa has quit IRC (Write Error: Connection reset by peer)
<StarTurtle> finally.  An act of god
*** Mikejfa (ask@usr48-dialup43.mix2.Boston.cw.net) has joined #atheism
<StarTurtle> and now an act of Satan

<CthulhuFhtagn> that furniture porn turns me on a little.

<Night-Solitaire> It's twice the pussy, none of the schlong.

<PoisonPen> Uh, DC is about ten billion times better than Marvel.  
Unless, of course, you like nipples.  Marvel has lots more nipples than 
DC.  Marvel is the nipple capital of comicdom.

* Lemon_Aid notes that he expected samual to say "May the Force be with you, 
Mutha-Fucka" in Starwars Ep1 (must've gotten edited out)
<Lyme> Lemon: there's always ep2.
<Munin> slj is the man.
<Samn> Lemon_Aid !!! JESUS CHRIST, that's EXACTLY what I and ALL of my friends 
said
<XcalibuR> may the motha fuckin force be motha fuckin with motha fuckin you
 an' shit
<Lemon_Aid> Lyme: I have my fingers crossed ;)
<smpcomics> i want Mace Windu to have a discussion with Yoda about what they 
call cheeseburgers on Tatooine
<Munin> Yoda is a bad mutha....
<Lyme> Git down, muthafucka, I got a baddass lightsaber.
<Samn> Lemon_Aid - my pal Josh kept saying it for him and we were all laughing,
 all the star wars geeks were mad at us
<Jest-> "i don't care if wookies taste like motherfucking pumpkin pie.. they're
 a filthy animal"
<smpcomics> Mace Windu's lightsaber has "bad motherfucker" enscribed on it

<fiche> We can't have fruit as ops. That just aint right. 

<Night-SunSucks> DUDE!  My neighbor's dogs are gay homosexuals.  They hump 
each other all the time.  My parents have named them "Sigfreid and Roy" and
 I call them "Sparky and Killer."

<sarahx> laughing is a lot like farting. Sometimes you can hold it in, but 
most often you can't.
<Greg_J> And sometimes you accidentally spray stuff with both

<XcalibuR> fuck fuck fuck a duck, screw a kangaroo! bang an orangutan, do a 
gnu. an orgy at the zoo!
<Lyme> blow, blow, blow a goat, chickens you should ream, fucking animals at 
the farm, do it till you cream?
<XcalibuR> rape rape rape an ape....(drawing a blank)
<Lyme> rape rape rape an ape, fuck him til he's blue?
<Yan_Bin_Ceh> Next line: Put him down to rape a cow, and then I'll fuck you 
too. (if rhyming "down" and "cow" is acceptable)
<Lyme> Rape rape rape an ape, fuck him til he's blue, put him down to rape a 
cow, then I'll fuck you too.
<XcalibuR> Lyme: hahah!
<doppelganger> screw screw a shrew, screw that fucker through, give ur dog a 
rear entrance to the orgy zoo.
<Lyme> Do, do do your pets, fuck em at the vet's, have some fun, and when you're
 done, do your neighbor's next! AHA!

<PoisonPen> Those of us who were on Usenet back when it was all computer geeks,
 scientists, and university students remember when the tsunami of AOLusers came
 in.  We thought it was the Gotterdammerung... until WebTV came and revealed 
the AOLusers as veritable towering geniuses compared to the slope-browed, 
mouth-breathing idiocy they displayed.  They made "ME TOOO!" sound like a work 
of Shakespeare.

<ghawd> dsakfl: I like your name, I type it a lot when I'm mad..

<MassHysteria> you know every has something they are good at...its just by 
some sick twist of fate that i'm really good at farting

* BigCock74 pops a viagra and gets it on with skirtlifter, three male stewardesses
 in drag, and a big german shepherd

<StarTurtle> I see "Big hard shaft" and I instantly go for "kick"

<PoisonPen> If God hadn't wanted us to eat people, he wouldn't have made us 
out of meat, just like animals.

<Roddy_Madness> Detroit Rock City is better than Inspector Gadget. I saw it 
after I watched Inspector Gadget. It was like eating spinachs right after 
swallowing lots of shit

<Jest> and "hit me baby one more time" is like the most impenetrable chorus 
in pop music history
<Jest> what th ehell does it mean?
<Jest> britney seems too young for s&m fantasies

<Roddy_Madness> Night of the Living Fundies
<Roddy_Madness> Throw Fundy from the Train
<Lyme> The good, the bad, and the fundy.
<Lyme> The young and the fundy.
<Son_Of_Cookie_Monster> Mission Unfundieable
<Lyme> Fundiator
<Lyme> Fundy Run
<Roddy_Madness> Fundie Terminator
<Son_Of_Cookie_Monster> Fundie the Barbarian
<Roddy_Madness> 8 fundies in a duffle bag
<Lyme> Army of Fundiness.
<Lyme> Evil Fundy. Whoa, that's redundant.
<Lyme> The Fundy Witch Project.
<Greg_J> Pulp Fundie
<Cerberus^^^> Fundix
<Roddy_Madness> the Fundies of Navarone
<Ogdred> The Fundysucker Proxy
<Lyme> Fundspeare in Love.
<Greg_J> Planet of the Fundies
<Lyme> hAHA! American Fundy
<Lyme> Fundtanic
<Roddy_Madness> True Fundies
<Greg_J> Interview with the Fundie
<Roddy_Madness> Four fundies and a funeral
<Lyme> *snicker*
<Greg_J> The Usual Fundies
<Ogdred> no..Four Fundies and a Fundie
<Cerberus^^^> revenge of the fundies
<Lyme> LA Fundidential
<Ogdred> Reservoir Fundies
<Greg_J> There's SOmething About Fundie
<Roddy_Madness> ROFL
<Lyme> hehee
<Lemon_Aid> Night of the Living Fundies
<Jest> the englishmen who went up a fundie
<Lyme> rofl, that must be a porno
<Roddy_Madness> Fundie Wars: the fundie menage
<Cerberus^^^> Deep fundie
<Ogdred> Deep Fundie
<Lyme> Fundiosity.
<Lyme> Fundigeddon!
<Greg_J> Gone in 60 Fundies
<Ogdred> The Devil in Miss Fundy
<Roddy_Madness> Edward Fundiehands
<Lyme> Fundy Club
<Lemon_Aid> Debbie does Fundie
<Ogdred> The Naked Fundie
<Greg_J> The X-Fundies
<Cerberus^^^> Fundie Clerks
<Roddy_Madness> Chasing Fundie
<Lemon_Aid> Driving Miss Fundy
<Roddy_Madness> Kiss the Fundies
<Cerberus^^^> MallFundies
<Roddy_Madness> Detroit Fundie-city
<Lemon_Aid> The Good the Bad and the Fundie
<Greg_J> Fundyhontas
<Ogdred> Fundie Wars<Baimei> Godzilla vs Fundy
<Roddy_Madness> Fundiegton Road
<Cerberus^^^> The man with one red Fundie
<Ogdred> Abbot and Costello meet the Fundies
<Cerberus^^^> Fundurama
<Roddy_Madness> Fundies from the Deep
<Lemon_Aid> Buffy the Fundy Slayer
<Lemon_Aid> Cream of Fundie Soup
<Greg_J> Fundy on Elm Street
<Greg_J> Saving Private Fundy
<Ogdred> Okay...he's right.  It's not fundy anymore.
<Greg_J> He's right, we've about used up the Fundy movies.
<Greg_J> Now for Fundy songs!
<Isabelle> hey Kitt :)
<Greg_J> Stairway to Fundy
<Roddy_Madness> yep, no more fundy movies
<Ogdred> hey!  no more of this fundy business!
<Lemon_Aid> Hooked on Fundies
<Greg_J> Hit me Fundy One more Time
<Roddy_Madness> Breaking the Fundie
<Cerberus^^^> Jesus Christ fundie star

<Isabelle> big bird definitely had a phallic thing going on with that big
 beak
<Ogdred> Isa -- You're imagining things.
<Isabelle> well yes. big yellow penises.
<Lemon_Aid> Isabelle: yeah... big bird and snuffleupagas were getting it on
<Lemon_Aid> talk about phallic things... you can't top snuffleupagas

<StarTurtle> Love is knowing that you can fart in the same car and they 
won't leave you

<littlemisshappymouth> that has GOT to be the dumbest thing i've ever typed.
<mumiaaj-udel> littlemisshappymouth stick with us kid, it'll get a lot 
stupider

<Greg_J> We had to write a fake letter to the editor about some social issue 
that really bothered us.  I chose when you go to the bathroom and don't notice
 that there's no toilet paper until it's too late.

<Samn> |Pikachu|^_^ - I was out shopping with friends, and when asked if a
 particular blouse was cute, I said it was so cute I could punch my nuts 
right off. I feel I owe you royalties.

<Insane_Puppet> Dont make me come through the computer screen and skull fuck you

<Nightengale_> "I'm not wearing any pants.  Film at 11!

* XcalibuR would rather have casual sex than formal sex. he hates wearing suits

<WhiteGelfling> Rorschach: They have have.. dont you know, us Atheists and
 Scientists only go out to prove things just to piss of the Xians :)

<Carvin> if I had bitch tits, I'd never leave the house.

<PoisonPen> Read it.  Clive has decided to waggle penises in our faces because
 he is having an epiphany.

<punter> insertion, extraction...anal beads sound like a covert military operation

<PoisonPen> There's a guy in alt.torture who hooks two pieces of soldering 
wire up toa Lionel train transformer, shoves one end up his ass to his prostate,
 and the other end up his urethra to the other side of his prostate.  Then he
 gets his wife to run the juice.  He swears it gives him uncontrollable 
ejaculation.  He offers the advice: if you smell something burning, you're 
not doing it right.
<Brain_Eaters> damn now that's one person who will never ever be satisfied 
with missionary position sex again.

<littlemisshappymouth> daemon is so hot when he's witty.
<Daemon> I know. I even make myself horny.
<littlemisshappymouth> (which is never)
<Objekt> Daemon: Damn, I have that same problem.

<Zygon> Hi AudreyLove ..that exclamation mark just turn me on ..next time 
try two :)

* infinite_monkey will someday write his own creation myth and build a pantheon.
 I'll call my gods PantheMon, and they'll fight other gods and pop out of little
 red balls

* rec_syn is not in trouble. He just has this impossible dream / obsession /
 whatever of shooting this feature film script he wrote. And I am going to 
make it happen, even if it drains all my blood and i have to sell my penis

<mcat> I didn't stay in the Boy Scouts for long.  They kicked me out for eating 
Brownies.

<Jesus> I only get to cum every 2000 years.

<Black_Bishop> White:  No.  Chess is non-violent.  You're just captured.  Of 
course, my prison guards are beating you.

<Anata> Tom Hanks was excellent in The Green Mile
<Samn> Yeah, they made him look like a huge black man

* Carvin pulls a wienerdog out of his butt and smacks Aminadabb around with it.

<Azure-dynamo> I want to start making JWDS merchandise.
<cha_cha_sum_zupzzar_wicker_lic> JWDS?
<Azure-dynamo> Jesus wouldn't do shit.  

<chilledbone> Sow your wild oats on Saturday night -- Then on Sunday pray for
 crop failure.

<PoisonPen> Ayn Rand was sexy like a leprosy sore.
<Spudboy> hot like a popped carbuncle

<PoisonPen> ,I would rather bugger the eye socket of the hunchback of Notre 
Dame than fuck Ayn Rand.
<decent_human> PP Ayn Rand may not be your type..butt ugly..whatever..but the
 hunchback of notre dames eye socket?....LOL..yuou are a sick bastard

* Sloth makes a noose out of dental floss and ties it around his penis
* Sloth hands one end of the dental floss to Isabelle. Hurt me baby!
<seeitswimming> oh no!  sloth is going to hang his penis!



*** Topic is 'Some people might tell you faith moves mountains.  Actually,
 it's "plate tectonics"  and science wins, again.'

*** Topic is 'WWJCD - What Would Jackie Chan Do?'

<AngelDM> When God drops acid.. does he see people?

<Spudboy> in Hell, you spenmd eternity with a fundy. Heaven turns out to be
 exactly the same, except you get a taser

<syntax_recorded_syntax> If Cthulhu calls... let the machine pick it up.

<StHeathen> Firelock, I remember in my Tae Kwon Do class the women were 
explicitly discouraged from doign particular exercises because they would 
give them big shoulders. I would have kicked the instructor in the nuts if 
he couldn't have killed me with his bare hands in defense.

<StHeathen> I'd be bummed if Eminem died in a plane crash. Because I want him 
to die in a bloody riot, hacked to bits and imapled on a flaming stake

<funkymonkey> all I know is that if the word muthafuckah.....was deleted from 
all rap CD's...they would only be about 12 minutes long......

<funkymonkey> My band is called Imation CDR 74m 650 MB....have you seen our 
CD's?

<AegisIII> ahh, you certainly get different nosebleeds than me.    i generally 
stick a tissue up to the nostril thats bleeding (one only bleeds at once, unless
 theres overflow) and compress the top of my nose for a few minutes.  once thats
 done, i have to blow my nose to remove that mucous thing, whatever it is.  
blowing lightly to get the front out of the nose, grabbing it by the kleenex,
 and slowly taking it out...theyre like 2 to three inches long

<Solodon> BTW, I am not satan.

<Roddy_Madness> the aliens had a computer virus and couldn't raise their 
shields. That would be nice in Star Trek, huh? ---> LaForge "Captain, we can't
 raise the shields in enngineering." Picard, "Why?" LaForge, "Jeff Golblum 
loaded a virus with an apple computer." Picard, "Data, what's an Apple computer?"

<Ovid_> presuming the fetus is 18 can be tried as an adult.
<Ovid_> and is of sound mind and body
<Ovid_> Although, an 18 year old fetus is hard to find.
<Lucifer-Satan> Ovid_, lol

<ellen_ripley_> addictive- if you dont like abortion, why do you keep acting
 like the poster child FOR abortion?

<itani> Anata, I am a monotheist, I believe in one god only.  He is high and
 merciful and strong.
<VulgusFilter> "high"?
<Lyme> heh. God is high. Lol
<Kaufmann> LOL Lyme
<Anata> itani:  Eh, yeah.
<Anata> hahaha Kaufmann
* Kaufmann pictures the Ol' Guy with a joint.

<Decimal> Cajun: A three headed dog would never be able to catch a cat. One of 
it's heads would always slow it down by licking it's ass.

<Nightengale> Hey, how do you make a five pound lump of fat give a guy a hardon? 
 Put a nipple on it!

<Anata> KarlMarx:  I prefer the pee hole.
<Anata> No seriously.  I fuck pee holes.
<Nightengale> Whose pee hole?
<Nightengale> (god, I can't believe we're calling it "pee hole")
<Lyme> lol
*** Nightengale is now known as SecondGradeNightengale
<Carvin> I dont want to hear about sticking things inside of wang.
<Anata> Hahah Danie.  How about "urethra"?
* SecondGradeNightengale rolls some spitballs, spits out her retainer, takes 
a dump on the floor, and grins.
<Garon> lol
<Carvin> You shit on the floor in the 2nd grade?

<Hominid> When I was in college, the two most popular fraternities were I Felta
 Thi and Tappa Kegga.

<Nightengale> You know, udel, if you don't knock off this stress-spewing at every
 little thing, we're going to have to pass the hat to buy you a puppy like we had
 to with PoisonPen.  And I can't exactly call that a success, because I'm pretty
 sure it was eaten by a large lesbian many-tentacled monster right after we gave
 it to him.

* Carvin is sexy in that "Chihuahua with Rabbies" kinda way

<lilmisshappymouth> im gonna get a 62" monitor, that way cyber sex with ascii 
art will feel totally real.

<Anata> PuRgAt0rY:  I have a vagina.  I don't need any other devices that beep
 and make farting noises.

<Mr-Sleepy> how is your jesus hanging

<ShinyEyedMermaid> if i were a man and i had tits like mine..i would be home 
allday playing with them

<alavey33> shit. this bleu cheese dressing is fucking good. i'm gonna drink it
 from the bottle.

<Stargazer> there weren't any school shootings back before they put "in god we 
trust" on the money.

* infinite_monkey suspects that Christina Aguilera is animatronic.

<BoHemyth> Voyeurism:  Thine eyes have seen the glory of the cumming of the Lord

<Naters> I really don't like condoms.  They pinch me and pull hairs out.  I do 
like "Rubber Ducky"..marketed for a younger user..and I like Maxx.
<bev`> rubber ducky???
<bev`> just how young is their tarket audience?
<Trink> you have hair on your penis?
<Naters> Rubber ducky fit REALLY well..and they come in colors...I don't care about
 colors...they also had stickers in there to stick onto stuff..which is for younger
 users..imo.

<Steve_Guttenberg> i had 2 hamsters... it wasnt good... one was a boy and one 
was a girl. they were brother and sister.... they grew up and had sex all the 
time, squirting out litters all over aquarium.. i would occasionally forget 
to feed them and they would end up eating the younger ones.. we'd find a hamster
 face here and there. i wonder why they didnt like the faces.... hm.

* Steve_Guttenberg would like to suck all 47 of arkens nipples

<Econochrist> i don't care about a girl's religious beliefs as long as she can
 handle a lot of cum and does anal.

<StupidAsshole> i bet priests get hard when the cute little 13 year old girl 
confesses masturbation, 40 times a day.

<qph> Bending over forwards to smell your balls (among other things) is not a 
sin either!

<Hominid> Hail Mary, full of grapes, the lard is with thee.  Blessed art thou 
among women, and blessed are they Fruit of the Looms.  Holy Mary, mother of Rod,
 pray for the winners, now and with the power of meth.  Amen.

<Up_rooT> luckily, i never face the prospect of some little snot-tap shit-factory
 of a baby sucking on my tits

<Lyme> hmm. I wonder if anyone has a fetish that involves sticking barbie doll 
heads up their ass.
<StupidAsshole> Lyme, i do.
<Neurovore> Lyme: PoisonPen would have told you yes.
<Lyme> really? Ken dolls or Barbie?
<Lyme> PP would know.\
<PuRgAt0rY> Lyme: the worst fetish is sticking your head in barbie doll's ass
<Baimei> lyme: the legs work better

<Godless1> I didn't see it posted asshole
<StupidAsshole> did you ad hom me, or call me by my name?

<Carvin> "burgersa" said outloud sounds like my cat when he vomits.

*** crackd has quit IRC (Quit: We plants are happy plants. What a clean city. 
I'm kinda sleepy.)
<Lemon_Aid> cracks quit message reminds us to not make them while stoned.

<Roddy_Madness> Hitler was half-eunuch

<Econochrist> I make love to mountain lions.

<StHeathen> Lyme, I do. If there's one thing I think of when I wake up in the 
morning, it's how to kill more fetuses. Because if there's one thing that makes
 America great, it's our dead fetuses.

<Lyme> It's 11:00, do you know where your pants are?>
*** QED (qed@cr512435-a.lndn1.on.wave.home.com) has left #atheism
<hungry_hungry_hippo> on your floor, sexy.
<Witchy> on my legs..and its 7pm
* Witchy Laughs
<Lyme> Heh, oh, my watch is off, and so are my pants! WOO!
<Objekt> Around my ankles.
* hungry_hungry_hippo backs away from Objekt.

<Jest-> i guess sucking a cock is like sucking a snake that spits into your
 mouth and then shrinks

<DrunkWizard> Yes, people who drink alcohol can't spell worth shti.

*** Naters has quit IRC (Quit: The meek shall intheirit whatever the bold don't
 want and as soon as we want it we'll take it from them. <evil laughter>)

*** Topic is 'Jesus as done by Akira Toriyama. JesusBall Z. Jesus becomes a 
SuperSavior! KAMEHAMEHALLELUJIA!'

<toxyc> i'm logging this conversation in case i ever need help getting to sleep

<Roddy_Madness> we need to chop off the penis of every rapist and give it to the 
needy

<Paulgasm> if my anus and my mouth were switched, that would be bad.

<Insane_Puppet> dont steal christian songs with napster.. it MAKES BABY JESUS 
CRY

<Leon_Phelps> Please do not message the ladies man for cyber if you are a man. 
I don't want to say any names because YurSrve might be embarassed. Only fine 
women. The ladies man thanks you.

* shebrew gave dalnet dildo_anus@hotmail.com
<Naters> DAMNIT..THATS MY EMAIL

<velvetcat> waking up with an erection every afternoon is getting old

<PoisonPen> Why don't we masturbate while discussing Kierkegaard.  "So you see,
 life is meaningless (grunt!) and hopless and all you can really (unh!) do is 
learn to be serene in misery."

*** Objekt is now known as RU-486

<Leon_Phelps> Please refrain from attempting to explode the ladies man's penis 
with telepathy.  The ladies man thanks you.

<Pazooza> If I torch a bush and shout from behind a rock with a megaphone does
 that make me a god?

<Lemon_Aid> ode: Are you over 18?  Last time I had impure thoughts about someone
 here... they turned out to be 15
 
<rustyb> Drug_Dealer: OK, devote your life to God. You will understand quickly 
their is one.

*** AmericaOwnsThePlanet was kicked by AegisIII (Don't let the doorknob anally 
violate you on your way out!)

<coltrane^> with my computer in this position, i will soon learn the skill of 
typing with my toes

<TheNumber> If god=love, then I god mexican food
<Jest> i god mexican food but i satan the heartburn

<Anata> he's cute, but eh, I doubt he has a black dick in him

<Isabelle> well, we don't endorse anal violation in this room.

<goliath_cobalt> ask.com has EVERYTHING...except the answer to "Is Jeeves Gay?"

<ellen_ripley_> pp- the shoe fits up your ass, bend over

<deluge> dude! we need to tax those billionaires way more! till they're 
millionares!

<Damnation> i hear they are replacing RU486 with the RUPentium..

* Valek`Nor wishes there was an olympic sport for making designs in floating 
toilet paper when urinating

<baudot> we need a Tourettes bot here...random bursts of pointless obscenity.
......

<infinite_monkey> Great... instead of the typical penis-measuring contest, it's a
 foreskin measuring contest...

<Sxem> i have to sit like a woman when i urinate

<PoisonPen> Oh, trust me, Halfmad likes that sort of attention.  I have pictures 
of him nude-blood-wrestling with another man, and a whole set of him being whipped
 bloody by femdoms at a club while chained to a rafter.

<Roddy_Madness> we need to find PP a normal friend

<Econochrist> If I could see a 16 year old irish girl dancing an irish jig naked,
 i would ejaculate with no hands.

* hunka_burnin_love_bone wants some rich blonde female to rape him.
* DingoPete wants that female to have crabs
<hunka_burnin_love_bone> eww.
* _Cephus_ has Naters rape him instead.
<Roddy_Madness> bah
<hunka_burnin_love_bone> ok, maybe i should havebeen more specific

<infinite_monkeys> Let's get some Buddhists and Jesuits in here so they can kick
 our asses.

<infinite_monkeys> What other channels are there? I went to #buddhism once, but 
they didn't agree that I exist.

<Turba> You all shut up and listen to me.  I'm a dried-up old fart, so I know better
 than you.

*** PoisonPen is now known as Naterz
<Naters> ahEm
<KarlMarx> only in your misguided dreams 
<Naters> NO
<Naters> DO not mock me, BOYO.
<Daemon> hahah
* Lyme laffs
<Daemon> "I suck cock"
<Craig> Ooh, lookie Naters, we've got balcony seats now :}
<fiche> no i dont know who is who anymore
<Naters> knew it
<Naters> still don't care.
<Naterz> There is so much of me, and all so luscious.  Going my way, sailor?
<KarlMarx> heh
<KarlMarx> look at the two of em up there
<Cerberus^^^> haha
<Naters> lol..shUSH
* Lyme falls off her ass laffing
<Daemon> hahah
<fiche> YMCA
<Siren> bahahahaha
<Naters> I'm sure you'll find that if you care to look hard enough, you'll find 
ALL sailors will go my way....from time to time..:)

<Craig> Ok, I know the difference between being humped by Naters, and being humped 
by a cheap impersonation :I

<PoisonPen> I wrote a Scooby Doo fanfic in which I treat them like real people.  
Shaggy is a Viet Nam war vet with a monkey on his back who suffers from post-traumatic
 stress syndrome.  Daphne is an empty-headed bisexual slut, Fred is a sleazy, chauvinist, middle-class arts grad, and Velma is a Marxist bull dyke.  On their way to Miskatonic
 University, they stop in Dunwich and tangle with Cthulhu cultists...

<OL> I feel the gentle pressure in my colon that means defecation is now authorized.

<Anata> GOD LIKES TO FUCK ME UP THE ASS
<dsakfl> Anata, what the hell is up with  you and this "god fucks me up the ass" 
shit?

<Roddy_Madness> when a monkey masturbates, is he actually spanking himself?

<PoisonPen> Babies are little, wailing, puking, wrinkled-up poop-machines which
 look like a miniature Winston Churchill.  Foetuses do not meet this requirement,
 and thus are not babies.

<Ovid> I should order some Chinese.
<Ovid> I don't want to go out in the rain.
<Anata> I'm Chinese.
<Anata> Oh.  You didn't mean
<Ovid> Do you deliver?
<Anata> heh

<Naters> Be sure to give him ALL..and I do mean ALL of my love...
<Naters> do him a few dozen times for me.

* AsianSensation whispers i see white people. they're everywhere. they dont know 
they're really white.

<Econochrist> One of my other hobbies is touching unknown women unexpectedly.

* Naters sends Calvinication all his nekid pics of himself.
<AtheistPriest> Anata i want apic damnit
* Calvinication is aroused.
<Naters> heh

<Jest> i want a gnome chomsky for on my lawn.. the world's smartest lawn gnome

<the_interloper> heh yeah. neapolianic isnt a word is it? I called my friend a 
stupid neapolianic little shiteater because I had used meglomaniac in the sentance
 before. he said it wasnt a valid insult then we had a beer fight

<PoisonPen> Oddjob is my hero.  I want to be a fat, homicidal Japanese flunky when
 I grow up.

 

<PoisonPen> I'm listening to my 250 midi files this evening.  I decided I 
was in the mood to listen to robots with the musical skill of a high school
 band playing 70s TV themes on kazoos.

<Jest> "Sadism is a masochist practicing the golden rule."

<Starf1re> Salinger was a pervert.
<PoisonPen> That's a mark in his favour.

* Jest bites into a communion wafer
<^Jesus> Ow

*** Topic is 'Jesus returned; nickserv killed him.'

<SaintStryfe> Pat Buchannan's Comertial gets an H for Homosexual Content!!

<JesusLove> When the conversation in #atheism has turned to measuring the 
degree of tightness of a 12-year old boy's ass, I know it's time to leave.

<Socker> Whoa!...JesusLove is pitchin a damned tent over there

<Arken> Wow. Lots of high school girls in sports bras just ran by my window.
 I bet a pedophile would have gone nuts.

* Ann just loves trying to figure out the topic of conversation on entering 
this channel.  Hmm...  What do female menstruation, arms falling off, and 
christian TV channels have in common?  *chuckle*

* velvetcat humps his chair like his mom taught him

<Arken> god is kaos@all.you.lamers.really.need.to.get.a-clue.net * *uNF*
<Arken> god on #afk @#sex 
<RedV-cooking> lol
*** groinchurn has quit IRC (Quit: sleep.)
<RedV-cooking> god ops #sex

<fiche> whats with you people, i ocme in here and first two things mentioned 
are underwear and rimming

<BoHemyth> Germs are creatures of God.  Killing them is sinful.
<kissmee> that's why I never wash my hands after scratching my ass

* ferdkin wonders why his finger smells like... never mind.

<Roddy_Madness> what did they major in?
<Roddy_Madness> Dildo Engineering?
<^{Tinkerbell}^> StHeathen: And for the ones which are supposed to be used 
with a male and female together - of course there will be sizes.
<BoHemyth> Friction Science.
<^{Tinkerbell}^> Roddy_Madness: Good question...
<Roddy_Madness> LOL
<Econochrist> gynecology
<Red_Velvet> hahaha
* ^{Tinkerbell}^ giggle
* ^{Tinkerbell}^ giggles
<DarkLink> Roddy_Madness, big buff female oppressing aliens in a conspiracy to 
force big dildos into women.
<WolfOfKnight> heheh
<Lyme-reading-fanfic> oh
<Lyme-reading-fanfic> roflmao
*** NedFlanders (~wmc@cohfw.ci.houston.tx.us) has joined #atheism
<Roddy_Madness> I just have this problem picturing some engineers looking at dildo
 schematics and measuring it with engineering tools

<PoisonPen> I think if I suddenly acquired God-like powers -- say, through a Green
 Lantern ring -- the world would become a very interesting place.
* Naters to pp: well..>I would remove that ring from you..cuz I don't think I'd like
 the world you'd create.
<Lyme> if PP acquired God-like powers, this would be a very kinky place indeed.
<PoisonPen> Note to self: Turn Naters into 300 pounds of blue-green algae when I 
acquire my Green Lantern ring.
<Naters> note to self:  Bitchslap pp within an inch of his big hairy life.

<PoisonPen> MassHysteria: It's not a materialistic desire.  It's more spiritual, a 
way of being able to get physically close to someone you admire.  If I owned a turd
 belonging to Einstein, sealed in lucite, I could look at it and contemplate that a
 real, live man had shat that from his anus, and recognize his humanity.

<happyvcat> First time I dropped acid I watched my girlfriend lick the carpet while
 '21st Century Schizoid Man' blasted on the stereo.

<PoisonPen> The only thing to come outta Texas is steers and queers, boy, and you 
ain't got to horns on you.

<Econochrist> This race is as tight as anata's asian teenage pussy.

* Az_Working is trying to figure out if the boil on Bush's cheek is one of the 
plagues of egypt

<janza> no.. i like it when naters slaps me. ;P
* Naters knew this.
<Naters> janz likes the ruff stuff..and knowin who the daddy REALLY is.

<HighKaramba> people who live in silicon houses should not throw pocket protectors

* Aznaj likes to think of England and France as aging father and mothers who bitch
 incessantly but love each other, Canada as a younger sibling that still wants to 
live at home but lives right next door to America, and Australia as the mentally 
retarded red-head brother who won't stop calling to bitch at us
<Aznaj> The young man who ran away from home because he was sick of being beaten, 
abused, and used by his father, with his mother's blessing who started a successful
 small business, and now the same family that hated him wants him to do them favors
 all the time

* wubwurk will be SEM's personal gynegologist... wub has a special "instrument" 
with which to do lots or probing of SEM

<Lassitude> anata!! stop!! i am creaming...the images!! my god!

<Roddy_Madness> I have 34A breasts

<fiche> i am more evolved than you, i dont een have nipples

<PoisonPen> I like sitting around in torn underwear and eating potato chips, 
scratching myself where it pleases me best, and squatting toad-like in my hovel 
while I glare out at a hateful world.  Also, I am loud, obnoxious, opinionated, 
and am indifferent to personal hygiene.  Step right up, ladies!

<Hedrin> The ease in obtaining an erection is proportional to the frequency of 
getting called to the blackboard in high school.]

<Horny_Heather> besides, your nickname suggests you are uncivilised and 
unenlightened. don't blame me for calling you a fool

<Az_> Merope, We just gotta find and tag FundieKat and the great white north should
 be safe

<mcat> not at all.  German porn is just much nastier.
<Riley> Ahhh
<Lyme> Well, you know, there are some things I don't know about, and German porn 
isn't one of em.
<Falkonn> german porn is cruder than american porn.
<HeatDeath> "Mom, if you were in a German Schieze video, you'd tell me, right?" 
<== Cartman :)
<Lyme> I mean, is one o them
<Riley> Swedish Erotica seems a bit more ... old school 
<Sloth> I must confess that my loneliness is killing me now.  DOnt you know that I 
still believe?  That you will be here and give me a sign
<Arken> Mein Leibe, I want you in the worst way. Now LIE DOWN ON THE BED AND HAVE 
SEX WITH ME AND DO IT FOR PRECISELY SEVEN MINUTES, TWELVE SECONDS OR YOU SHALL BE 
SHOT!
<Lyme> shit. Now I'm makin myself come off even creepier.
<Schmendrick> Abso:It's overhead 2D. 
<Lyme> I don't know about german porn
<Lyme> I swear.
<HeatDeath> lol
<AbsoluteStatementMan> cool
<Blackbile> bbl
*** Blackbile has quit IRC (Quit: Leaving)
<Schmendrick> Same as Subspace..you move with the arrows and aim and shoot with 
the mouse:)
<Lyme> I'm turnin read ovah heah.
<mcat> sure you don't, Lyme.
<Lyme> Shit, now what have I done? 
<Pinker> Lyme:   No, shit is what German porn does.
<HeatDeath> lol

* Lyme goes into grammar-nazi mode.
<Riley> Ummm
<fiche> all spelling and gramatic errors are transmission error
<Riley> Lyme?
<Riley> Nazi should be capitalized
<HeatDeath> lol
<Stryfe_is_War> LOL
<Lyme> LOL!
<HeatDeath> roflmao

* Black_Bishop wants to be an anti-social worker...Like an IRS agent or an insurance
 salesman

<foobarbaz> ^mikejfa, tell me how you make love to all those blow-up dolls and still
 have energy left to sit at your computer and talk about it

<Carvin> I went to school with a guy named Ken Demoff, he swears he's naming his 
first kid Jack, even if its a girl.

* Econochrist kicks Lyme in the crotch and watches her ovaries roll around on the 
floor before he stomps on them
<fiche> you are crazy
<MadameCurie> Econochrist hasn't gotten laid lately, I see.

<MadameCurie> I'd do Naters if I was a guy.

<DubyaDotOrgy> commandment 16h.  I am God and Poisonpen is my prophet.
<fiche> dub, you have gone too far 
<DubyaDotOrgy> commandment 12:  do drugs on the weekend, and keep it holy
<fiche> 16th commandment is way out of line
<DubyaDotOrgy> hey dont question me, i'm GOD

<DubyaDotOrgy> i voted for bush because his name reminds me of naked women!

<Roddy> sex is dirty, and you should keep it for someone you love

<Baawa> I prefer to call it "cosmetology", since it deals with the makeup of the 
universe.

*** Econochrist is now known as Econochrist_moving-bowels

<Calvinication> I dare a man to get breast implants and go jogging topless.

<Naters> I have tits....I go shirtless now and then..it doesn't bother me...I know 
it bothers other people and. I am glad it bothers them heh

* TallHandsomeStud` suckles on Nater's manboobbies
<Naters> some women do.
* Lyme falls over
* Naters murders TallHandsomeStud`

<AtheistPriest> haha dorm food = "things that are fried"
<AtheistPriest> hehe my friend is dorm food

<Baimei> i see london, i see france, i see jesus' underpants

<ploozy>  Begging for wankish ops
* Lyme kicks Aleph-Null in the hed.
<Aleph-Null> *wank wank*

<PoisonPen> I promise not to say any insulting and perfectly true things about 
Ayn Rand until you[Bo] get back.  It's safe to go for lunch. ;-)

<Lyme> Thass why I usually buy funny cards and jis put my name. This card sucks, 
but it's the only one I gotl
<CorvusCorax> I don't write cards... 
* Lyme does some head-on-keyboard action.
<Cerberus^^^> You made it thru the last year, *phew*, here is a card to wish you
 luck through the next one
<Lyme> Cerberus^^^: Heh, uh, that's not exactly nice to send to yer 89 YEAR OLD 
GRANMA!
<OL--> If they're male, say "I get horny when i think of you" and if they're female
 write  "I get horny when i think of you"    
<Lyme> That's just downright mean.
<Lyme> LOL, OL, eeew.
<Lyme> I'm sending a freekin card to my granma, I'm not gonna write that.
<Cerberus^^^> hahahaha
<Cerberus^^^> OL, you must be from West Virginia :]

<Ziba^> sixth sense? i have one brain, two tits, three nipples, four limbs and five
 digits in each limb...i have six personalites ...but no sixth sense.......sir
<groinchurn> infinite_monkey: It's all based in modern time, a guy approaches Danza
 and ask him to build an Ark.
<Lyme-watching-Dune> WHOA, 3 nipples?
<Ziba^> yeth...and i am not making it up
<Lyme-watching-Dune> Ziba: And a lithp to boot, ey?
<Stargazer> 3 nipples?
<isabelle> 3?
* MadamCurie watches everyone's 'nipples' highlight go off.

<PoisonPen> Shows you how much you know.  I keep my muse in a jelly-jar on the shelf
 and torture her with a pencil when I need an idea.

<Naters> yer terrified of the quince.
<Lyme> quince? whassa quince?
<Naters> It's a lil tiny fruit thats a citruslike one.
<Az_> And you call yourself a fruit
* Lyme fears the go network. Heh.
<OL--> an asian fruit, Lyme
<Lyme> Az_: WEll, technically, I call my self a citroid...
* Lyme throws a durian at Naters.
<Az_> hehe
<Lyme> take that
<Lyme> stinky fruit.
* Naters throws cloudberries at lyme.
* Lyme beans Naters with a starfruit.
* Naters forces lyme to live inside a coconut shell.
*** Kafka23 (ikaroz@as2-dial219.olivant.fo) has joined #atheism
*** BoxesOfStringsAndClips (sa@203.106.155.101) has joined #atheism
<OL--> Lyme--it has to be cooked before ya eat it.
<OL--> throws loganberries at both of them.
* Naters vogues while he intones: I put dEE lyme in DEE cocoNut and shake it all 
about.
<Lyme> Naters: ROFLMAO

<dsakfl> Anyone ever pulled a "Hey I hear you're really good at cybersex" on somebody
 before?
<disenchanted> no, but I think I will ;>

<RedV-Posering> oi
<RedV-Posering> oops.. boobs on the keyboard

<OL--> If you can't scratch your balls, what good are they?
<Lyme> OL--: Need I remind you, I don't have balls
<OL--> OK, scratch your ovaries

<Sethar> Sloth: If you don't shut up, I'm going to give you herpes.  And neither 
of us want that.

<BoHemyth> The Qu'ran is still boring,  but,  it's good to wonder how they got that
 chicken to write so much, and so well,  given it was written by a chicken.

<Hedrin> what do you call a lesbian that drives a truck that delivers dildos? A 
dick-van-dyke!

<Anata> Your nose, Carvin, is like a perfect 3-4-5 right triangle.

<Anata> I masturbated to Carvin's webcam once 

<HeatDeath> this young lady in my math class is constantly masturbating by rubbing
 her thighs together. that is SO distracting

* GZeus is sad that he has been banned from #christiandebate. Was it something I 
said about Jesus and the 12 fags?

<vcat> I am pretty meat and potatoes when it comes to sex.
<vcat> They don't turn me on rather.

*** Topic is '<Beauregard_>  Ebonix Bible Genesis 1:1 In the begining the Main Man
 busted a move and the discombobulated nothingness became the real deal'

<Objekt> You sound like my type of woman.  Deluded and angry.

<PoisonPen> Canned BBQ?  I eat dog food sometimes.  It's really cheap and it 
tastes like chipped beef if you cook it right.

<Red_Velvet> Well, we've determined that the channel can eat baby shit and dog food
 and not know the difference.

<QSYS> Allis, when you find the deceitful bastard, bash his head in with a stick 
and leave him for dead. Show him what real unrequieted love is
 
<Lyme> I got Fight Club for 6.98 at walmart.
<Black_Bishop> I am Jack's low price guarantee

<The_Josiah> I feel like mocking people tonight.  Bad Josiah.

<SavedByTheBloodOfJC> scum, one can only preach to the saved.  i am here to 
proselytize instead

<Lyme> okay, that's creepy... who doesn't wipe their ass?
*** synthesys (metacom@user-2ivf8gd.dialup.mindspring.com) has joined #atheism
<Zygon> Lyme, did not say that they dont wipe.  said that they dont use toilet 
paper
<Lyme> Ah.
<Lyme> what do they use, a hankie?
<seam> maybe they like it rough 
<seam> so they use sandpaper
<HighKaramba> the left hand
<synthesys> they use leaves
<Zygon> lyme, water and reusable cloth
*** sepsis (enormity@p5-max1.christchurch.netaccess.net.nz) has left #atheism
*** HumanRights (sassas@200.41.122.172) has joined #atheism
<HighKaramba> the left hand
<phaed> They may wipe their ass, they just don't use toilet paper.
<Ziba^> nonsense..noone uses reusable cloth
<Ziba^> HK is right..
<Lyme> roflmao
<phaed> 6% may use poison oak leaves.

<Wraith__> Pants have millions of uses. Use them to strangle domestic animals. 
Signal planes from the ground by waving them overhead.

* OL-- Lyme go out and open your blouse and let the sleet zing your nipples

<PoisonPen> I like planes that look like penises with wings.

<HeatDeath> Come to think of it, are there ANY gender enutral non freudian 
shapes besides irregular blobs?
<Lucifer-Satan> HeatDeath: hmm, you mean irregular blobs are?
<Objekt> Lucifer-Satan: Can't say whether it would be feasible. 
<infinite_monkey> HeatDeath - I read that as "irregular boobs" the first scan.
<HeatDeath> i_m: well that's YOUR issues, not mine :)

<PoisonPen> Have you ever noticed that people who talk a lot about guns and tanks 
and fighters and other penis-shaped things generally have wee little peckers the
 size of a peanut?
<Objekt> Not really.
<Lyme-sulking> PoisonPen: No, I don't generally go around looking at military 
nuts's schlongs.
<EmpathicGene-> PoisonPen, i never noticed.  what about you?
<wubwurk> pp: cant say I have personally checked
<Objekt> I talk about aircraft because I love flying and think the problems are 
interesting, not because I like killing people.
<HeatDeath> PP: having very little experience with other people's penises, no, I
 haven't.
<infinite_monkey> PoisonPen - Nope.
<Cerb_Gone> PP, I generally don't see other guys peckers
<PoisonPen> Oooo, look at all the people who protesteth too much.

<PoisonPen> Hmmm.  "Fleshy taco shell of love."  No, it just doesn't work.

<Braeloch> "Bombs don't kill people; explosions do."

<OL--> Roddy--earlier we had lesbian tree-sex for an hour

<skott> i'll end this episode of #atheism with the customary cliff hanger.  "Will
scott become a theist?  Will the theists finally win him over?  Does this old 
evidence present a danger to Scott's beliefs?  Will the theist succeed in deluding
 Scott?  Tune in next time for the exciting answer!" 

<volo> i wonder what 'orgasm' is in sign language

<uberzealot> gore puts on a nixon mask when he has sex
<uberzealot> "i am not a crook!  what's my name (slap)" "nixon!  niixon!"

<Jest> "Uhh, where's my cocaine? I need to make up some more bullshit." -- Freud

<HeatDeath> own me, make me lick the boot, do whatever you want to my ass with a 
vinyl implement.

<Sastra> I think they should come out with Supreme Court Justice action figures. 
What wonderful role models for the kiddies...

<skott> Gore's gonna call Bush a poopy at 9pm eastern tonight.

<DrunkWizard> Bush looks a little bit... like the frat guys I talk to who have 
just gotten head from some girl that they don't know.

<Objekt> My roommates are SOO boring!@  They didn't even know what a butt plug 
is!

<GZeus> animated: wanna have a "my state is stupider than your state" contest

<RedV-IcewindDale> I think if god existed, he'd fuck with the people who *knew* 
they were going to heaven.. he'd make em do 1000 years in hell then live in 
Cleveland for all eternity.

* GZeus has to go to the bathroom and take a Bush.

<HeatDeath> lyme: well I could have referred to it as my mighty, sturdy SCHLONG-
OF-RIGHTEOUSNESS, but peepee seemed more becoming :)

<PoisonPen> Kafka stories make my testicles shrivel and retract into my body.  
For some reason I consider this to be a good thing.

*** WildeCard has quit IRC (Quit: "100% of deaths are caused by birth..Thus, 
abortions are actually saving lives")

<Naters> I could fill a room full of hot burly muscular men who have deep, 
masculine voices who have seen more dick than a urologist.

* Lyme zones out and goes 'durrr...' while the comptalk continues.
<boz> for a definition of DIMM: http://whatis.techtarget.com/WhatIs_Search_Results_Exact/1,282033,,00.html?query=dimm
<TRiFIXION> I wish I knew how to find out.. That's what I dislike most about 
pre-fab computers.. I think I'm just going to build one..
<Holmsy> 'n' is close to the space bar when typing 'nse'.
* HeatDeath realizes he's been ignoring Lyme's needs in this conversation
<HeatDeath> Lyme: so, how was your day?
<Holmsy> Tri, how new is your computer.
*** Riley has quit IRC (Quit: Why, Why do little blue midgets hit me with fish??)
<TRiFIXION> Lyme: What kind of webcam do you have?
<tomoko> Lyme, so how did you master taking off your pants while sitting down, 
exactly?

<AnimatedU> most guys will masturbate even with 104 degree fever while wearing a
 neck brace and nothing to look at but a mirror

<AnimatedU> if I die, I want to be found with an anal plug and a mirror, dangit

<infinite_monkeys> How do you get 10 babies out of a bowl?
<infinite_monkeys> Nachoes.

* HighKaramba once followed his tao
<HighKaramba> I almost got arrested for stalking

* Az_Working starts taking a collection of shit to refill s-cloud

<Lyme> actually, it is damned cold in here, but no, my nipples have yet to make 
an appearance.
<wubwurk> tho stage makeup is a bit diff :-)
* Run_The_ShadowsHatesD-Net doesn't do any sort of primping
<Run_The_ShadowsHatesD-Net> Lyme:awwwwwwwwwwww
<s-cloud> lyme - will ya quit the nipple obsession
<s-cloud> it was bad enough with the crotchless panties
<Lyme> nipple, nipple, nipple. It's quite nipply in here.
* Az_Working refuses to make any comments about what 'appendages' Lyme may be 
typing with

<Az_Working> kittaz, You wanna help roll a snowball we can toss at all the 
southern states?

<Naters> not me..I wnat my doctors to be hot...My cardiologist is do-able.
<Lyme> Isabelle: That's why you get a female gynecologist
<Naters> I may have to light up his day.
<Isabelle> naters: yeah but would you want a proctologist to be do-able? :)

<santa> give santa a god damned kiss before he gets realy angry

<Super_Creationist> Do you enjoy killing babies for your amuzement, you evil 
atheists?
*** glk has quit IRC (Read error: Connection reset by peer)
<santa> with a fortk
<ellen_ripley_> easy, i think of them as pre-religious people
*** Yossarian is now known as el_bag_of_crapo
<Lyme> I'd be, like, in outer spaaaaaaace.
<Baimei> its not evil to kill them, as long as you eat them
<trink_> the faster they die, the sooner they get to heaven
<Cerberus^^^> Super_Creationist, If I knew one of them would turn into you, 
I'd have become a doctor just to abort you
<cmonty42> I like to use dead babies in my home decorating scheme.
<Jerry_3> dress them as cherubs and who would know?
<santa> i find dead babies passe, they are loong out of fasion
<ellen_ripley_> i got the kmv bible the other day
<Lyme> Jerry_3: What about when they start to rot?
<cmonty42> Ikea has nothing on dead baby furniture
<Super_Creationist> If you don't hurry up, you'll be burning in hell!
<santa> try shrunken heads, way way in, in interior decoration

<Super_Creationist> Your lies of evolution are the most vile of them all. It is
 clear that frogs don't turn into cows, you are just making stuff up.

<DaDeist> PoisonPen....  You validate me
<PoisonPen> Only if "validate" means to anally rape with a handful of razorwire.

<Jest> i think i'll test my attractiveness by saying "we're going to fuck" to 
various random women

* Iron_Fist2000 doesn't do christmas.. just extra time off to screw the wife

<Jest> hey, speaking of my penis, you should see how big mine is
<Heather_85> lol
* Black_Bishop slaps Jest. Stay focused.

<Naters> I dirnk my coffee the way I take my men....hot sweet with plenty of 
cream.

<Christopehr> next time I go to a massage therapist, I'm going to remark casually
 to the woman doing it: "I'd just like to let you know that I have a huge erection"
 and then grin sheepishly

<Chupabara> I AM BRAZIL. THE PENIS I HAVE. NETSEX ME.

<Black_Bishop> Alan:  We just talk about penises and occasionally god here.  
We're probably not too much help.  Wanna talk about penises?

<HeatDeath> I am geek, hear me sigh
<Lyme> I am geek, hear me masturbate
<pzil> i am geek watch me build a masturbatory device to attach to my computer 
motherboard and then by using TCPIP i can have people give me handjobs from 
anywhere in the world, mwwauahahah

<TheMisfitToy> I just use scotch tape to tape my nose to my forehead and look 
in the mirror. I laugh for hours, until I pass out.
<TheMisfitToy> I usually wake up naked in Canada.

<PoisonPen> If I ever use the term "throbbing purple-helmeted gearshift of love" 
in anything but mockery it's my sincere home that someone will tackle my to the
 ground and drill a hole through my skull to let the evil spirits out.

<Hominid> I actually saw a book called "WebTV for Dummies."  Really.  It exists.

<fiche> i'm waiting for the ABc of sessme street to have I is for Internet

<Black_Bishop> hehehehe.  My ultra-mormon grandparents sent me a CD for xmas.  
The Mormon Tabernacle Choir's Greatest Hits.
<KarlMarx> black - they do any acdc?
<HeatDeath> The Mormon Tabernacle Choir Sings Meat Loaf's Greatest Hits! :)
<Black_Bishop> Karl:  Yup.  They do a great version of Hell's Bells

<Cerberus^^^> Sometimes a cigar is just a dildo

<Riley> Jiyuu ... you'd best not get two keyboards to try and correct your problem
 ... cause all you'd be doing is stereotyping 

* HeatDeath chucks a cute little fuzzy baby chicken into the air. it whizzes out
 of it's parabola and flies in a straight line, sticking to chick Magnet's torso
 with an audible clang

<luxd> All I wish to do is convey to them that Jesus is great at oral sex

*** Rejoined channel #atheism
*** Topic is 'Low fat communion waffers name: I can't believe it's not Jesus.'
*** Set by whatgod on Sat Dec 30 20:55:07

<Jest> how come men never have sexy names?
<Jest> on irc?
<j7of9> so how is Yurslave speaking of dirty jokes?
<Lyme_Shipwrecked_and_Comatose> Jest: Cause men aren't sexy? And you have to go 
to the sex rooms to find ppl like that?
*** Jest is now known as TightBunz
<Lyme_Shipwrecked_and_Comatose> Nicks like 'HungStud24'
<Lyme_Shipwrecked_and_Comatose> Jest: LOL!
*** Dark_C0re is now known as SuperShaftSven
*** Objektskaya_Getting_Plastered_ is now known as SexObjekt
<SuperShaftSven> hmm..this doesn't quite work

<Riley> The Chinese stole ICBM technology from the US ... but it turned out to 
be useless ... cause all the missiles they built with our tech could hit were 
Chinese Embassy Buildings ...
 
<sumsikfuk> dalnet; over 88 billion egos stroked 

<AllahJr> in wrestling, they use tampons for bloody noses
<AllahJr> occasionally
<Falkonn> Allah..thats only cause the panty liners look really stupid

<Falkonn> no...there are some similarites to being dum and being ignorant...
not totally different
<Falkonn> dumb

<groinchurn> Jello is funny.
<DictionaryGirl> i love jello...
<Lyme> groinchurn: Hell, funny? It's just plain fun
<DictionaryGirl> i think being in the hospital so often made me addicted
<Lyme> Jello is slurpable.
<DictionaryGirl> very slurpable
<Lyme> It can produce some of the most amazing noises, too
<DictionaryGirl> its the one food that no matter what surgery youve had, you 
can slurp it down
*** qubex-thermonuclear-deflagrati is now known as qubex
*** fiche (fiche@kenny44.zip.com.au) has joined #atheism
<groinchurn> I'm talking about Jello Biafra.

<_Synaesthesia_> Are the guys in # catholic typing all of this or are they 
praying by copying and pasting.

<Incarnation> *shrug* I live in TN.. state motto of: "Hey! We don't -all- fuck 
our sisters here!"



...END!