Liars, Guns, and Money: Part 3 -
Plan B

It's 9:02, time for Lyme's Spastic Review! (Hey, that rhymes!)

LGM3: Plan B (Whoa, that ryhmes, too! Froody!)

This week, Lymey's gonna try and keep it in chronological order:

First, before we go any further, let me say AHHHH! AHHH! AHHH!

Primal screem therapy out of the way...

-Whoa. More of Natira's freaky bondage furniture.

-FrankenSTEIN! ROFL! Love all the Young Frankenstein references in this ep, including the pronunciation of Frankenstein and the Frau Blucher comments...

-Stil joking, even when it comes down to the wire... gotta love our boy Crichton

-Scorpy? Taking away the pain? Oooh, shivers abound.

-Aeryn... is wow... barely holding back tears here, while watching Crichton's msg. Oh, wow. You can hear it in her voice. Someone give Claudia an award, already, y'heah?

-Haha, Bekhesh, holy warrior of Taru... lol...

-Rut-roh. The bounty hunters are getting snarky.

-Chi, SHUT IT! Don't tell them about the money... aw, frell. You did.

-I'm having flashbacks to Kcrackic talking about commandeering a pregnant leviathan...

-HEY don't you be pointing a gun at Chi... Aeryn... Aeryn, dear, I know you're pissed, and all, but, STOP TELLING HIM TO SHOOT CHIANA!

-Whoa. Wait. Is that Aeryn, pinup girl for frontal assault, negotiating with the Zelkan (sp? Y'know, the Zenetan). My, how times have changed.

-Four words: MY SIDE! YOUR SIDE! *spazzes*

-Stark gets crazy again. Man, Goddard does crazy good. I love the bit about no hands... hehe... oh, my, how can you NOT like Stark?!

-TALYN! TALYN! YEAH! Now we can start the party!

-Natira is getting creepy with John... and that prostate joke was just a little bit TMI!

-Whaaaat? Scorpy doesn't want to dominate the universe? T'chah. And monkeys might fly out of my bum!

-Oooh. Lovely CGI of MOya and Talyn joined. Talyn certainly is growing, innit he?

-Hahaha, Papa Crais. (Hey, DRAyKE, if you read this, here's a bout idea for you: Crais v. Papa Titus... ooh). And, well, whoa. Crais is getting philosophical with Aeryn. That is... funky...

-Git that boy Crais some new threads! The poor man's been wearing the same thing for over a cycle!

-Vorkarian's makeup looks kinda funky... Mebbe it's just the lighting.

-Durka's head on a pole. O. M. G. lol. 'What are you doing with that head?' Man, Rygel is prolly feeling super baddass right now...

-Man. You gotta love Stark trying to convince the bounty hunters that his plan will work... for some reason, I'm getting flashbacks to the plan in Con Air. I love how he starts getting pissed at the hunters...

- 'Flix? What's the Flix?' hehehe. I love how the hunters bicker...

-What, pray tell, is Jothee wearing? IT looks really... uh, weird.

- New Farscape word! Drakic! I'm guessing its the equivalent to 'ton'?

-Jothee's having some problems with his accent here. For a second, I could've sworn he sounded Scottish. Oh, wait, here comes that bit of Father/son angst... oh, good, they didn't play it up too much.

-Sounds like Jothee just may have a very very juicy past. I can't wait to learn more about things he wasn't proud of doing...

-Crichton's back is prolly hurting on that chair, right about now... and I love the comment about basting.

- 'What the Hell' is right, Crichton... you're in your IASA costume, and you're... ON EARTH?! Even if it is just a memory...

-*groan* Double the pleasure, double the fun, 2, 2, 2 Scorpy's in one... Sorry, couldn't resist.

-'Screw this' indeed. Whoa, flashbacks to I, ET, 'I can't move!' Bwahaha.

-Uh, oh, Crais, you horny little hezzmot. You did not just say that. And, Aeryn, if you do... I will hunt you down and smack the bejesus out of you... NOT WITH CRAIS... ew ew ew.

-Jothee's got one funky headband.

-Okay, Zelkan looks like a cross between Baron Harkonnen and a samurai. Does anyone else think this?

-IT's good to see that Pilot, if not MOya, is at least feeling better.

-It's not good to see that D'Argo is once again thinking with his mivonks.

-Aeryn? Kill Crichton? Wait, did she say bullet?! She's been hanging around Crichton too long, she's picking up his erpisms! Frankly, I hope it doesn't come down to Aeryn having to kill Crichton. I would have a coronary if she did. And then, have to hunt down a lot of ppl who are currently residing in Australia, and hit them with BRICKS

-Why, oh why, is Scorpy waiting for the Command Carrier? If I were him, I'd want to get it immediately.

-oooh. Burrrrn. John gets some good jabs about Scorpy needing his rod changed... and having some spares...

-eeeeeeeeeeew. Natira sex comments. Good thing Scorpy only loves John for his mind, heh.

-ARGH NO HIT CRICHTON. NO HIT! Kinky bitch. Oh, John's BLEEDING! *covers her eyes*

-Smelling is the female Vorkarian's job, ey? Well, it makes sense... she smells everyone in TTBRC, and in LGM2, she's the one who smells the Hynerian and Delvian on D'Argo...

-When we see Teurac practicing, I first thought, 'Whoa, Moya has gas? Get her some Bean-O!'

-I'm sorry, but I rofled my ass off when Rorf was trying to raise Pilot on the coms...

-rutroh. Rorf let out about the Zenetans... this could mean trouble.

-Oh, no, no, no. Not Natira's touch. Oh, god, she's doing that funky head thing. OH NO stop talking about his eyes... his lyin' eyes (I had a snicker at that, but it was most definately short lived)... NO EYE POKING OH NO NO NO NO EEEEEEEEEEW. *shudder retch gag*

-Commercial Break! Gotta love that Tivo commercial about 'masculine itching'... I just thought I'd throw that in, because it always cracks me up.

-I'm having flashbacks of Ozzy singing 'Bark at the Moon' while Rorf is howling... anyone else?

-Scorpy has a sixth sense. He can apparently tell when ppl are lying. He should've been a judge... or a lawyer... Wait, he's already ridiculously sadistic, we don't need a Lawyer Scorpy.

-Flashbacks of THM, everyone has to come in and save Crichton's butt (and what a nice butt it is... wooo, I feel a thud coming on someone stop me! *thwap thwap* there.)

-As we see Scorpy walking down the hall, I just had an urge to go 'Squeak squeak squeak' in time to his steps... all that leather must be noisy. I bet you can hear Scorpy sneaking up on you pretty easy...

-Gotta love a woman with a big gun... especially if it's Aeryn, and she's pissed!

-Natira... don't you talk about John's eyes. You hear me? NO! NO! SToppit stoppit! Don't you dare --

-WHOA cool-ass flyby by Moya! OH MY GODS that was cool!

-And I love Chi's Xena yell... roflmao

-Understatement of the millenium - 'WE have a problem'.

-*snort* PK Storm Troupers... You know, they'd prolly be able to shoot better if they took those silly goggles off. The depository guards, I mean.

-Medusa... well, Medusa had snakes, but, yeah, I could definitely see Natira as Medusa... do not look directly at the blue freaky S&M chick!

-Funky modern art generator. Froody.

-The Qualta blade javelin toss... Man, we gotta get D'Argo in the next summer olympics...

-Zhaan finally meets Scorpy, in the wrinkly, pale, leather-clad flesh.

-The Tavlek cracks me up. He's going around, shooting the already-dead PK's... lol...

-'Do you think there's anyone behind this door?' *Cut to shot of about 3 kabillion guards behind the door* Hahaha....

-HOLY HOT DREN! LITERALLY! Exploding Sheyangs!

-Commercial Break! "Little bunny foo-foo..." bwahahaahaha...

-OH, man, was I worried when Aeryn had problems with her night vision goggle thingie... then I love the comment about how for someone who couldn't see, she did fairly well...

-Okay, I love this. Scorpy's all calm, trying to comm Natira... while behind him, a guy is on the floor, screaming, flapping around on fire, totally ignored...

-Eeew. Scorpy/Natira shippy moment in Crichton's head.

-Okay, I swear, that when they bust into the room where they had been keeping Scorpy, that D'Argo said 'Worf'.... mebbe I'm just hearing things.

-Rabid Rygel. Don't let him bite you! I love how he goes to gnaw at Jothee... and I'm really getting worried about his decapitated head fetish... I mean, he better get rid of it, before it starts attracting flies...

-Okay, why the FRELL is everyone mispronouncing 'Zenetans' this ep? Say it with me: Zen eat ins. Not Zen ah tans!

-Man, I love Rorf. I hope D'Argo keeps his promise to tell Rorg about what happened.

-The Dune extra bites it! Yay!

-I love how shocked Zhaan is when Crais comms her. That was classic.

-GOOOOO TALYN!

-Okay, okay, this freaked me out. The shootout between Zelkan and Chi. I was like, 'NOOOO THEY DIDN'T KILL CHI! NO! NO!' and then they cut, leaving ambiguous as to who died! ARGH!

-Crichton has turned into a crouton. He's a veggie, man. The poor guy. The poor poor guy. I'll leave the major rant to OboeCrazy...

-Crichton, you will not go to Scorpy. That's right, Aeryn, pantak jab his ass.

-Whoa. That is some cool CGI of the depository collapsing! Okay, who thinks Scorpy finally bought the farm? Yeah, I don't either. I'm not *that* stoopid.

-Rygel gets to be greedy. His best quality... 'And This won't eat the ship!'

-Talyn is growing up. Crais is losing control of him, and Talyn is turning out to be an okay kid; he came back when Moya needed him.

-Oh. No. John has finally lost it. He's singing freaky songs, twitching, looks like he could really use some Clear Eyes (Where's Ben Stein when you need him?)... and he's asking D'Argo to kill him.... oh, man. And they have to end the ep on this note. I am gonna be killing myself until next week.

-Okieday, peopletypes! This was a very good ep. The last 1/2 hr was almost totally action, and went by in about 2.3 seconds for me. We learn that Crichton can get the chip out without dying, which is a VERY GOOD THING. And, well, I doubt that Natira bit it, and we already know from next week's preview that the gimpy suited one didn't. (What is with you, Scifi? Why do you keep showing us that Scorpy didn't die! Keep it a mystery for once!) My only complaint: Hey! Where's the shippyness! ( a la that old Wendy's commercial).

This is Lyme, who is still spazzing very hard, and can't wait til next week, signing out!