Premiere

Grrr. Resnet go boom, whole entire campus not have comp access for a day. GRRRR. This would've been up YESTERDAY.

Oh, wow, look. I'm doing a spastic review! Well, technically, a revisitation... What's the difference, you ask? Well, a spastic revisitation is an ep that's already been aired once before. Technically, all my reviews BEFORE the LGM trilogy are revisitations... oh, yah, and revisitations are usually shorter. Yes, yes, yes, folks and folkesses, I know I still haven't done one for 4 out of the 5 of the most recent eps, but hey... I honestly sat down Monday, fully intending to watch IP1... and as I was rewinding the tape, I thought, "I can't do this. It'll get me even MORE depressed and then I'll have to like, jump out a window and hope I impale myself on the fence because I'm only one story up!". I have some weird thoughts, don't I? Sooooo... instead I thought I'd catch up on OLD eps I haven't done! Whee! So, here we go!

This ep's sponsor is NEKKID DAY! 'Cause Nekkid Day makes everything just a little better. Ev'ry day should be Nekkid Day!

Righty-o. The Premiere. First ep EVER. Nekkid Crichton <THUD>. But I'm getting ahead of myself, ey?

-Heh. One thing I always noticed is that DK really seems to be stiff around Jack. No, not THAT WAY, you perverts... eew... now I just gave myself slashy thoughts... ew... unclean, UNCLEAN! *ahem* I mean, he seems to be a lot more formal in manner and all. I just always noticed that. He like, even calls him 'sir'.

-I still wanna know, what the hell are those 3 black lines on the thigh of Crichton's jumpsuit for? Are they skids or something? What?

-Stuff 2 Know: Crichton has been on a shuttle before, twice. Wonder what he was up for those times, ey?

-Random Observation: Kent McCord has poofy hair. I mean, it's just... kinda... poofy. I want to bounce on it.

-Time problem. Jack indicates that Crichton can give the puzzle ring back to him *tonight*. But later, when the lady's doing the announcer-type dealie, they say that they're 26 hours and 14 minutes into the mission. So, uh... huh? Mebbe he shoulda said 'in a couple days' or 'when you get back'. Lookie lookie, Lymey's being nitpicky!

-Oh god, the world's STUPIDEST helmet. I swear. That's like the helmet they put on the slow kid at school. I can now imagine John wearing that helmet running into telephone poles. "HI! MY NAME IS HANK! *clang* OW my spleen." He was also apparently Ed from Ed, Edd, and Eddy.

-Uhm. I'm going to try to use my brain. Blame this on my astronomy text. Now, they talk about escape velocities and stuff... basically how fast you have to go to leave the orbit of a planet or something. Was the intent of the mission to be able to escape from Earth's orbit? Cause you have to go really, really, REALLY DAMN FAST for that. Like, over 100,000 mph. And if he DID escape the orbit, how would he get back? How far would that send him away from earth? Ow, my head.

-How come wormholes in movies and on tv always look alike? They're always a blue donut thingie. And they look alike on the inside, too.

-Prowlers flying over... that is definitely a Darien Fawkes "Aw crap" moment...

-HEY! Random bit of info... they just showed a Farscape commercial on Cartoon Network. The extended version of 'The soldier, the healer, the temptress' one. Y'know, the one with Crichton and Aeryn sucking major face. Huh.

-"Uh... canaveral?" I just like that line. John, hunny, Erp is nowhere to be found. You are SO screwed!

-Watching the opening credits is DAMN weird without the voice over.

-Hi, Tauvo! *boom* Bye, Tauvo!

-The module catches on fire. Well, the floor of it, anyway. My immediate and first thought was "FIRE BAD!"

-Heeey! It's Lil Blue! Woohoo!

-My tongue is really raw from eating sour skittles. I shouldn't be eating any more... but damn, how can anyone STOP eating crack skittles once they start, ey? Hey, yeah, I know that's also a really random tangent. I'm lonely. I can't get into #farscape.

-I have always thought that the first view we get of Zhaan - where she's turning to look at Crichton - is very very menacing. She looks so utterly alien and far more threatening than I ever thought D'Argo did.

-And the first view of Rygel just screams 'GROOM ME, PLEASE! Bring me a comb!'

-I've always wondered why there were no other prisoners on Moya besides D'Argo, Zhaan, and Rygel. I suppose that they were the last 3 prisoners to be transferred before being used for the attempt to breed a PK/Leviathan warship, tho, in retrospect.

-D'Argo's home VCR repair: Beat the snot out of it til it works. (I fix things the same way.)

-Hehee. I like how you can see Aeryn's face - just barely - thru her helmet. Like, when Crais calls off the attack and she disobeys - you can see her looking all determined, like she's thinking, 'Frell THAT!'

-Look! It's Command Carrier footage! Y'know, the 'destined to become stock footage for every time we see a command carrier' footage!

-Also, a count of some of the ships we see in that shot: Three leviathans, several prowlers, a marauder, and a partridge in a pear tree. *slap* Ow, okay, no partridges in pear trees.

-"Yes, of course. We're... some place else." Gotta love Pilot's confidence.

-That loogie Rygel hocks on Crichton is NASTY! What's a Hynerian doing with chewing tobacco?

-You know, listening to the convo between D'Argo and Zhaan... I can't help but wonder what the first three sensations are.

-K, when Rygel talks about his cousin Bishan... I start hearing Triumph the Comic Insult Dog start singing 'Underage Bichon' in my head. IT's so wrong.

-NEKKID CRICHTON! NEKKID CRICHTON! NEKKID CRICHTON! *spazz* <THUD> CRICHTON WITH NOOOOOOO CLOTHES! <TRIPLE THUD> BTW, someone told me if you have the DVD (which I'm watching, btw) you can do slow-mo on the part where he goes running for cover and see... something. Well, you can't. And, yes, dammit, I checked. Twice.

-"Why did you take off my clothes?" Heheheh. This is suuuuuch an easy line to make a response for, I'm not even going to.

-Wow, look at the relief in Crichton's face upon seeing Aeryn after she takes off her helmet. He's so obviously thinking, 'THANK GOD! Another human!" See, I never really read anything shippy into their first meeting... not like he was thinking, 'Ooo, pretty girl!' - I always saw his expression as one of relief at not being alone in that situation.

-Ahhhh... love at first ass-whupping. I will not comment on the suggestive position in which Aeryn straddles Crichton. Oh, wait, I just did. And I also typed 'straddles Crichton'. Heheh. I'm so naughty.

-Lt. Teeg has a very oddly shaped head. Maybe it's just the way her hair's done, but it always looks weird to me.

-ERgh. Did I ever mention that I HATE that damn IASA jacket? Really. I'm soooo glad they got rid of it. I mean, when it was a vest, like in TFAL, it was okay, but it was just... not a good jacket.

-I love how Crichton freaks a bit when D'Argo growls at him. Heh. Crichton the Meek.

-Oh, god, the first RygelFart. I mean... this scene always cracks me up to no end. Zhaan's voice when she says 'Thank you, Pilot' is hilarious, and then Rygel... he sounds like someone doing an impression of Queen Elizabeth. *snerk* and then, Crichton's incredulity... "You fart helium!?"

-Watching Aeryn trying to escape from the cell while Crichton sits in the background trying to figure out how the HELL he got there, I have but one thought: "She is *such* a Type A personality."

-Okay, if you have the DVD, you can see the deleted scene between Crichton and Aeryn regarding compassion. This is such a good scene that tells so much about Aeryn I'm always pissed that they cut it out from the US version.

-When Aeryn says 'What is *that*?' when they enter the maintenence bay, in reference to Crichton's ship, I always hear Princess Leia going 'You flew here in THAT? You're braver than I thought!'

-ooooo. Purty CGI of commerce planet. Just amazing.

-Erp! She said Erp! I love the little thing Crichton does when she says it... he tilts his head, gets this little smile on his face, and mouths the word 'Erp?' at her. <THUD>

-White death pod. *hysterical laughter* Oh, Crais. Yer such a gas. WHITE DEATH POD! BWAHAHAHA! *snortsnerk*

-During the scene where Crais is asking Aeryn 'just how much time' she spent with Crichton... I am getting such 'jealous boyfriend' vibes from him.

-Random Thought: I wonder if Rygel has ticklish feet.

-Ha! HA! Everyone else has, of course, picked up on this nitpick... but Pilot said 'minute'!

-Right here, I have 'weapon my ass' written. I think it's in reference to one of the PK RentACops calling the puzzle ring a weapon.

-heh. Crichton the Inept. Fires the gun backwards. Speaking of which, I wonder why we haven't ever seen that gun again in any future eps?

-"You can be more." Ahhh, the rallying cry of shippers everywhere... On the 3rd day, Crichton said, 'Thou canst be more,' and thus, there were shippers.

-Frag cannons. Hehee. See, as far as I know, 'frag' is also a synonym for the same word that 'frell' is a synonym for. Hehee.

-I have to wonder if the stuff Crichton wrote on Moya's floor in command is still there... or do the DRDs have some kind of funky super-Windex that has cleaned it up?

-Pilot Growl! Pilot GROWL!

-The Zhaan zap... the one you see in the cut footage... uhm, I don't know why I'm making note of it, I just am.

-Crichton says, into his recorder, that he knows his dad will never get this message. Does this signify that even way back then he was pretty sure he was never going to make it back to earth?

-"And there's life out here, Dad. Weird, amazing, psychotic life. And, uh, in technicolor." Heh. Good quote. Goooood line.

-Well, that's the revisitation of Premiere. It's the first ep, therefore, prolly the most important as it sets up everything. And boy howdy, did they shove a LOT into that ep! It's a good solid ep, utterly rewatchable for reasons OTHER than Nekkid Crichton, blah, blah, blah, Rockne is god, blah, blah, this space for rent... something something something... Or, basically, I ran out of cutesy 'attempt at funny' stuff to say.

THE END.

LBT, your friendly monkey fiend.